God did not create Eve because there was something wrong or insufficient in His relationship with Adam. Adam’s deepest, divinely implanted needs for trust, emotional intimacy, divine purpose, peace, provision and a lot more were all available from God to perfection.
While Eve did bring an additional dimension and blessing to Adam’s existence, his relationship with his Creator lacked nothing. It was never the intent of God to have Eve assume any aspect of His relationship with Adam. Nor is there any reason to think God needed Adam to intervene in His relationship with Eve.
Even though someone is a Christian, it doesn’t mean they have figured out how to embrace the depth of relationship that is available with God. The tendency of our fallen nature is to find tangible, temporal substitutes for perfect, eternal fulfillment. No spouse or any other person can deliver on a divinely implanted need. This is why a client of mine who is in a good marriage, has a family, and interacts with many people during a typical day can say, “I struggle with loneliness.”
In marriages, relational emptiness usually causes spouses to blame each other for not delivering on some deep relational need that only God can fill. When there is an expectation that a future spouse is going to fix all the things they deem wrong with themselves and their life, disappointment and blame is the likely outcome.
Unconditional love is one foundational need every person must satisfy to be at peace. If we look to imperfect people, including our spouse, to provide unconditional love we will be disappointed. Putting this expectation on a spouse only degrades the basis of the marriage to a failed proposition from the start. To the degree that we put a divine expectation on our spouse, we have wedged her into the “God Socket” of our hearts.
If we believe the lie that our spouse can fill the place for God in our hearts, it is a guarantee for marital distress. Should it become evident after the “honeymoon” years that there is still some relational piece missing, it is time to consider the condition of your relationship with God rather than blaming your spouse.
If you have never gone to God to fulfill your need to totally trust and receive unconditional love, you can be sure your marriage and all your relationships will improve significantly when you do. Make God the first, most cherished and primary relationship in your life. Your spouse will love you for it.
Turn toward a new direction in all your relationships by strengthening your primary relationship with God.
A relationship with God is the primary and most important relationship in life. Pursuing God first will enable you to be blessed through the other relationships in your life. God’s grace enables strong, enduring and active relationships in your life. Boldly ask Him to lead you.
